An Affair of the Heart
by cyan dragonfly
Summary: Sofia's decided that enough's enough. Sara/Sofia


Italics are Sofia's thoughts or emphasis.

P.S. I've seen this scene played out in so many different ways with so many different pairings, I figured it was past time I had a go at it.

--

Sofia eased herself slowly out from under the familiar covers, doubly careful not to wake the woman next to her. _Never again. _She glanced at the alarm clock next to her on the bedside table: it's green letters flared 3:19, casting an eerie glow across the room. _This stops here. _She shook her head slightly as she moved on tip toes to collect each item of her clothing that had been discarded in the haste of passion the night before.

The Detective knew her way around the dark apartment fairly well, a strange thing considering how little time she spent away from the bed on her frequent visits. _Frequent visits that will soon end. _Nevertheless, Sofia was easily able to retrace their earlier steps, retrieving her clothing piece by piece.

It only took two minutes before a small pile filled the blonde woman's arms. There was one piece missing, however. Her underwear, the last item of clothing to be relinquished earlier that night. They were in the bedroom of course, but on the other side of the room from where Sofia had been sleeping. _Great, just perfect._

Sliding into what clothes she could, Sofia stealthily moved back to the bedroom. She held her breath tighter than the pants in her hands, as she crept to Sara's side of the bed. _Sleep, sleep, please sleep._ She reached down and picked up the tiny ball of material.

Her eyes flicked to Sara as she backed away and turned around: she seemed to be un-woken. Sofia pulled on her remaining clothes, half rejoicing at her tiny triumph, half pining at her decision to end the affair. It was with her back to the bed and her fingers slipping the last button through its hole in her pants, that she was stopped in her movements.

"Sofia?" The sleep husked word was a question, a whine, a plea. Sofia raised her head to stare into the darkness of Sara's apartment. There was a fear in that voice that cut her through; took every ounce of pity, care and love that was in her body and balled them up into a slingshot, ready to be sent out to the source of pain. But it was the restraint that Sofia kept on her reaction that was so utterly heart wrenching.

She turned smoothly to face a now sitting Sara. Sofia forced her face to remain impassive as she took in the expression that was an exact representation of the tone she heard a moment before. The brunette's eyes were raised and pleading, but Sofia kept a straight face.

"Why are you leaving? Why tonight?" The whine was gone entirely now, leaving the fearful plea in that voice Sofia loved so much.

"Why?" Sofia asked back, unsure of two things: whether she wanted to say it out loud, or whether she could actually deal with this argument right now at 3:30 in the morning. She sighed. "Because I can't do this, Sara."

The brunette turned her head away and dipped it so that the floor was the only thing she could see. Her voice was thick with tears when she spoke.

"You said - you _say,_you love me. Wa - "

"I _do._" She said it almost as a growl, then had to stop and collect herself before continuing. "I just can't - keep coming here, doing this, being with you, not like this." Sofia sighed again and looked away from Sara's saddened form. "Not while you're still with Grissom."

Sara turned back to Sofia, fresh tears in her eyes.

"Then it's over. He's gone. But he was the first person who ever loved me and I can't - it's just not that easy."

"He's not the only person who loves you, Sara." Sofia was still keeping her eyes away from the other woman as she spoke softly.

"I know." Their eyes met slowly as Sara continued. "And you're the first person I loved back." Sofia paused, then nodded her head once in understanding.

"Then end it." The panic she saw evident in Sara's eyes begged for a reason why. "Because I won't come here again until you do." The brunette glanced away, refusing eye contact. "Good night, Sara." Sofia shook her head and turned to walk out of the room.

"No! Wait, please." The intense fear was back again and impossibly stronger than before. Sofia paused, but kept her back to Sara. "Just not tonight. Please don't leave me alone tonight." The blonde turned back and raised her eyebrows at the near blind panic she could hear.

"Why?" She asked it with the expectation of receiving an answer, and a good one at that. She wasn't disappointed.

"It's - " Sara could hardly speak from the tears choking up her throat. "Tonight's the night - " But for all the stopping and starting, it only took two sniffled words to cause Sofia's heart to stop. "My mother..."

_Oh god. _Time froze as Sofia quickly took in everything. The story of Sara's childhood replayed itself in her head on one level, while her options of what she could do now flashed past her eyes on another.

It was mere seconds before she chose to step forward slowly and move over to the bed. She kept her clothes on, still adamant that her decision about the direction of their relationship would be upheld. There was no need to take off shoes, because they were still at the door, so Sofia slipped into the bed next to Sara.

The brunette slid herself down the mattress as Sofia settled back under the covers. Both women were soon lying on their backs, staring at the ceiling. The silence hung heavily in the awkwardness of the moment. It was a minute or two before Sara rolled over, intent on having some contact with her lover.

She moved up, so that she was flush with Sofia's side, curling into the warmth of the other woman. Sofia blinked back tears as she stretched her arm around the woman she loved and pulled her close. Sara snuggled up, appreciating the protection the arm afforded her. Neither moved for several minutes, until the stark silence was broken by Sofia.

"I'm sorry, Sara." It had been the worst night of the year to put a hold on their relationship, and it felt like the right thing to do at the moment was apologise. Sara raised her head to look Sofia in the eyes, before shaking it gently.

"No. Thank you." Sofia's brow pulled together in confusion at what she felt was ill deserved thanks. Sara kept their eyes locked as she explained her words. "You didn't leave." The brunette took a deep breath. "You stayed for me. And that, Sofia, is why I love you." She paused again, realising that no matter how much she might want to finish her little speech with a kiss, she wouldn't have that liberty until she ended things with Grissom.

Instead she began to lower her head, only to find Sofia's lips already on her own.

It was a gentle kiss. Sara closed her eyes as the sensation of softness took her by surprise and overwhelmed her. Usually their kisses were full of passion: frantic, lustful and needy. But this was different. It was tender. And sweet. Almost as if they were kids, sharing their first ever kiss.

Sara felt Sofia's lips part the tiniest bit, realising vaguely that her own were following. Warm, sweet breath began to mingle as the two women unconsciously shifted to better positions. Three shortening breaths later, Sofia opened Sara's lips wider and breathed fully into her mouth.

Sara bit back a rumbling moan as she felt Sofia's hot tongue follow her breath a moment later. It ran slowly over and under the her own before beginning to bump rhythmically against it's tip. Sara was responding within seconds. Soon it was as if there was one tongue, manipulated by two like minds; never stopping, always snaking back and forth in a slow, smooth need.

Only it was to stop. After a few minutes of kissing, Sofia began to withdraw, slowing down and removing her tongue before placing a light kiss on Sara's lips. This time they both let out the barest of moans at the loss of contact. Sara opened her eyes to find Sofia's usually blue orbs turned mostly black.

They both kept looking, deeper and further into other's eyes, until it was clear each had an answer to their respective questions. Sofia was positive that Grissom was going to be having a bad day tomorrow, or at the very least, some time later this week. While Sara knew, she could _see,_ nothing but the deep love Sofia obviously felt for her, and the truth that she hoped for earlier: Sofia would _never _leave her.

The simultaneous smiles warmed their hearts as both women settled back down on the bed facing each other, this time holding tight like there would be no tomorrow. Sofia gently brushed a lock of Sara's hair behind her ear as the girl's eyes dropped shut.

"I love you, Sara." Sara opened her eyes again to lock them with Sofia's.

"I love you." She leaned in to kiss her on the tip of the nose. "Thank you, again." Sofia smiled, both at the kiss and the words.

"Don't think you get to make out with me every time you say that." Sara smiled back and hugged Sofia tighter.

"I wouldn't dare."


End file.
